The OLD FiReCrAcKeR

Standing in a quarry, watching a thurnderstorm
in the pouring rain
a flicker of lightening and your face lit up.
and just like that it disappeared again....

disappeared.

Until i saw it again at the top of a mountain.
Until the sun set over the valley.
Until the flare was lit
Glowing red in the darkness.
But that of course was extinguished.
Our only guiding light: the stars...

if only wishing upon them brought anything.

why did i fall so fast?

Falling stars.
Miniscule tears.
Of what could be?
Or what may be?
Or what will never be?

I just wish it was something real...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my attempt at shitty poetry that nobody will care to read. actually, i need a band. so i can sing that. if anyone wants to make a band i want to scream/sing so let me know. (it'd have to be kind of hardcore music). I'd add some more hardcore lyrics to it cuz its kind of... soft.

Worked today. Yeah, blah. Then came down here so that mom could go out for the night. Yeah... I'm home alone, mom's out with her boyfriend. How wrong is this?

oh well.

Well, i have a two hour drive tomorrow to think some more. Formulate my words. Mark them, because they will be said. I just hope it goes ok. I have to say something before i explode.

I don't think HFD would like it if i exploded. and i wouldn't want r 40 to put together the pieces of me. Sorry... trying to bring humor into the situation. lol

SHREK 2.... yeah:

"What's the problem I don't know
Well maybe I'm in l*** (l***)
Think about it every time
I think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it

How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's l*** (l***)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout l***

Come on, come on
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on
The world will follow after
Come on, come on
Cause everybody's after l***..."

i won't say it.

*pop*

I just want this to go away or be over. And the only way to do that is to make it known. Wish me luck... :--/

and... how wierd is this. i randomly looked up my horoscope... read my singles horoscope:
Daily Singles:
The person you've had a crush on for a long time now -- it seems like years -- continues to occupy a prominent place in your imagination. Maybe you should finally just tell them how you feel.
(http://astrology.yahoo.com/astrology/love/daily/sagittarius/20040728)

my daily horoscope was kind of random too (from today, the 28th):
Quickie:
The clouds are gathering. A storm approaches. But a rainbow is on the horizon.

for tomorrow, the 29th:
Quickie:
When making your point, the imprtant thing is the clarity-- not the volume.

Rainbow? or storm? We'll find out soon.

But, no matter what...
Auto response from Lemming782: i guess it's all about learning who i can be and who i can't and ignoring all the hurt and trying to move on and not letting myself feel like i've been thrown away. because life goes on and i guess that's the bottom line.