The OLD FiReCrAcKeR
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
~Alfred Lord Tennyson~
Well... you can't choose who you love. You also can't make a person change. You can try to force yourself to see something that isn't there, but in reality isn't, or will never be. It's just... sad. It makes you sad. When you actually truly do love someone, and cannot explain it, and find that love not reciprocated... or find it supposedly reciprocated but in a manner that makes no sense. Haphazard love. Accidental love. It makes you believe it when people call it blind love (course, I must have been blind to love a person like that... )
No matter what you call it, it hurts. And no matter how many times you try to tell yourself you are over something... something happens. It's like a scar waiting to be picked. As much as you try not to pick at it, someone always has the urge to. Why this phenomenon occurs is yet to be explained... but is in dire need of explanation.
"When speaking of lost love, time may heal all wounds, but there will always be scars..."
This is because, well, trying to forget someone who you love... is like trying to remember someone who you have yet to meet. It is one of the single most hardest things to do... even when you have no reason to feel love towards that person. You really cannot help who you fall in love with- and it is hard to forget.
"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak- It only means that you are strong enough to let go..."
I should have been more careful. I was blinded by his halo so i did not his horns. I guess... sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person whom we love leaves us. But, the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs... for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them. We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave to be with someone else. We have to admit that love doesn't give us the license to own a person... after all, love means sacrifice. Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength. However, there are these times in life in which it takes much more strength to just let go...
I just think with my heart more than my head most of the time... and it hurts me. (a lot). It's not a bad thing to think with your heart... but it is a trial to find someone else who thinks with their heart as well... (let me know if you know anyone, besides my LL...)
I sure wish I was a kid again, because skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts. Life was much easier when we thought boys had cooties, now all they have is the way of breaking your heart... stupid cootie boys!!
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.."
:: posted by Laura, 06:26
